New year = new plans and new ideas for Obscurions. We're both intending to suffer a bit with our new on-going projects, but MAN do I feel like I got the short end of this stick. Review the entirety of the Super Show from beginning to end? AND the Legend of Zelda cartoon? Yeah, sure. That'll be a scream!
That all said...here we are...Episode 1 of the Super Mario Bros. Super Show. What the hell am I doing?
That all said...here we are...Episode 1 of the Super Mario Bros. Super Show. What the hell am I doing?
Living Action Segment
“Neatness Counts”
We get our first look at Mario and Luigi, both played to (I think) perfection by Captain Lou Albano and Danny Wells. Immediately the stereotypes start flying, as Luigi reprimands Mario for being a slob by pulling a full piece of spaghetti off of Mario's overalls and Mario fires back by telling Luigi he has a pasta sauce stain on his shirt. We're off to an incredible start. It gets better when Nicole Eggert (I don't know either) suddenly pops up in the medicine cabinet and tells the Mario brothers she needs her sink fixed. Well, OK. Instead of actually doing this, Mario leads everyone to an already clogged sink for a demonstration...of how they unclog sinks and are neat plumbers? This place should already be out of business, and we're 2 minutes into the first episode. Luigi starts messing around with the sink while Mario has a mini stroke and a non-existent audience dies laughing over the proceedings. Mario and Luigi are such AWFUL plumbers they some how produce water pressure FROM A DRAIN and spray their customer with it. Cue bumper where Mario tells you “it'd sure be neat if you stuck around” because good lord are we sorry for that opening segment!
Super Mario Bros Cartoon Segment
“The Bird! The Bird!”
Plumbers Log 101 – The land of ice. Mario and Luigi rescued the Princess blah blah blah WHY THE FUCK IS TOADS COLOR SWAPPED!? The first episode and already we've got blatant disregard for design. Also, Princess has forearms like Popeye. Ahgyukyukyuk!
“The Bird! The Bird!”
Plumbers Log 101 – The land of ice. Mario and Luigi rescued the Princess blah blah blah WHY THE FUCK IS TOADS COLOR SWAPPED!? The first episode and already we've got blatant disregard for design. Also, Princess has forearms like Popeye. Ahgyukyukyuk!
So, Toad, who was just pulling Princess around on a sled like a slave is kidnapped by a Birdo with glasses. Chase ensues. Mario talks about spaghetti, which is pretty much all he ever does. Because he's Italian. A quick note here that when I began this, I actually started really late in the series and the animation in episode 1 is leagues better than where it will end up. It's nothing spectacular, but it's actually kind of amazing to me that I've gotten through about 5 minutes of animation and no one has spoken from the wrong mouth yet.
So, the Birdo thinks Toad is its baby, despite the fact that he sounds like cigar chomping dwarf. Back in the mountains Mario, Luigi and Princess are slightly animating their way up a mountain, it breaks...or something and Princess gives the most “I don't give a shit” line reading about Toad never being saved and Luigi starts crying. I laughed until I cried. Mario shuts him up by yelling his not-at-all racist catch phrase “Pasta Power!” and they all jump over the gap. They're being watched by Flakies, who make some bad ice puns then head back to see King Koopa, who we're meeting for the first time.
So, the Birdo thinks Toad is its baby, despite the fact that he sounds like cigar chomping dwarf. Back in the mountains Mario, Luigi and Princess are slightly animating their way up a mountain, it breaks...or something and Princess gives the most “I don't give a shit” line reading about Toad never being saved and Luigi starts crying. I laughed until I cried. Mario shuts him up by yelling his not-at-all racist catch phrase “Pasta Power!” and they all jump over the gap. They're being watched by Flakies, who make some bad ice puns then head back to see King Koopa, who we're meeting for the first time.
So, yeah. This happens. Koopa berates his subordinates, then asks to have his feet licked. The noises are absolutely nightmare inducing. Cut back to Toad still arguing with the brain dead Birdo, then back to the rescue team. Luigi has his head straight up Princess' dress, the sly little shit.
Again, Princess has a line read about Toad dying that's so casual you'd think she was discussing the weather, then we're treated to a joke about how Italians love cold cuts. Some birds drop Bob-Ombs on a snowy cliff and we've got an avalanche. Mario makes light of his obesity as they attempt to outrun it, which they succeed in doing by entering a convenient door in the side of the mountain. Toad is now trying to buy his way out of the Birdo situation, but Mama Birdo is still convinced this squat screeching fungus is her young and is hellbent on teaching him how to fly.
Back in the convenient mountain cave, Princess finds a Fire Flower and condescendingly explains its use to Mario, who follows up on her advice by playing “patty cake” with Luigi. After some acrobatics, Mario uses the power of the flower to melt their way back out the mountain door. Meanwhile, Koopa is pinning medals on his minions for killing Mario when he's informed that they survived. Koopa flips and we cut to Mario being an awful stereotype again. The gang finds a frozen baby Birdo, Toad falls from the sky. Koopa shows up on a snowmobile, but is stopped dead by Toad and Mama Birdo dropping turnips. Everyone is happy, Mario tries to eat a worm he thinks is spaghetti and then runs away. Yes, that's how the episode ends.
Back in the convenient mountain cave, Princess finds a Fire Flower and condescendingly explains its use to Mario, who follows up on her advice by playing “patty cake” with Luigi. After some acrobatics, Mario uses the power of the flower to melt their way back out the mountain door. Meanwhile, Koopa is pinning medals on his minions for killing Mario when he's informed that they survived. Koopa flips and we cut to Mario being an awful stereotype again. The gang finds a frozen baby Birdo, Toad falls from the sky. Koopa shows up on a snowmobile, but is stopped dead by Toad and Mama Birdo dropping turnips. Everyone is happy, Mario tries to eat a worm he thinks is spaghetti and then runs away. Yes, that's how the episode ends.
Live Action Segment
Back in the real world, Mario and Luigi are apologizing to their wet customer. They tell her to stand in front of the boiler to dry off, which then promptly explodes. As if things weren't zany enough, what with the sink and the boiler, next Mario and Luigi make her step in a cake and then sit on a pizza! Why there's a fucking CAKE in the middle of the floor is never explained, though you can just assume Mario and Luigi routinely leave whole food items laying around their house, or maybe it's just trash, because apparently they have a trash chute in their living room too. All that aside, Mario and Luigi pitch us into scenes from the next Legend of Zelda! We'll get there, don't worry.
Back in the real world, Mario and Luigi are apologizing to their wet customer. They tell her to stand in front of the boiler to dry off, which then promptly explodes. As if things weren't zany enough, what with the sink and the boiler, next Mario and Luigi make her step in a cake and then sit on a pizza! Why there's a fucking CAKE in the middle of the floor is never explained, though you can just assume Mario and Luigi routinely leave whole food items laying around their house, or maybe it's just trash, because apparently they have a trash chute in their living room too. All that aside, Mario and Luigi pitch us into scenes from the next Legend of Zelda! We'll get there, don't worry.
Back to the hilarity taking place in the Mario Bros Plumbing building, Mario is eating the squashed cake and Nicole informs the Brothers she's grateful for all the accidents, because, thoughts of her clogged sink forgotten, she was going to a “sloppy party” and is now going to win a prize for best costume, cue laugh track, because the only other option is to break down in tears. Mario and Luigi proceed to molest Nicole with cake hands now that they know she doesn't care. I imagine the police were called shortly after this episode ended.
Final Thoughts: So, yeah. The first episode of this show is real bad. The live action segment, from beginning to end, makes ZERO sense and the cartoon segment isn't much better. Koopa seems almost needless in the episode, as the plot involving Toads kidnapping was probably enough to make for a decent little adventure. Going back all these years later, it's actually amazing how potentially offensive Mario is most of the time, though it certainly doesn't feel like there's any malice behind his characterization. If he was Polish that might be a whole different story. Princess Toadstool also has some pretty awful and careless line reads, which actually makes the character come off as real snooty and condescending, which is actually pretty funny in most situations. I've watched the scene where she offhandedly remarks that they'll never save Toad half a dozen times and crack up every single time.
So, until next time everybody...
Final Thoughts: So, yeah. The first episode of this show is real bad. The live action segment, from beginning to end, makes ZERO sense and the cartoon segment isn't much better. Koopa seems almost needless in the episode, as the plot involving Toads kidnapping was probably enough to make for a decent little adventure. Going back all these years later, it's actually amazing how potentially offensive Mario is most of the time, though it certainly doesn't feel like there's any malice behind his characterization. If he was Polish that might be a whole different story. Princess Toadstool also has some pretty awful and careless line reads, which actually makes the character come off as real snooty and condescending, which is actually pretty funny in most situations. I've watched the scene where she offhandedly remarks that they'll never save Toad half a dozen times and crack up every single time.
So, until next time everybody...